Weather warning

There is several inches of snow lying outside and it was apparently colder in Scotland than in the Arctic last night. Still though, Radio Scotland feels able to have a phone-in for people to whine about the impact of the weather. Apparently, “something should be done” and councils should get their act together and buy more gritting lorries and ploughs. This is according to phone-in experts from across Scotland. I’m fairly sure this is all meant to happen without putting Council Tax up or paying any overtime.

All of the coverage of the cold weather recently has had the same theme. Somehow, it is supposed to be possible for local authorities to magically get every road and pavement clear in time for us all to get to wherever we are going. Similarly, airlines should also be capable of landing planes on sheet ice and flying them through blizzards.

Funny though, that I was the only person in the street who managed to get to the grit box and clear my path.

People have developed the idea that we can be in control of the environment . In the same way that callers to Radio Scotland think the snow can be overcome, Los Angeles residents truly believe that the relevant authorities should protect their home from wildfires – or at least re-build it in exactly the same place when it burns.

The recent and disappointing Copenhagen summit showed that we have still not got hold of the uncomfortable truth that nature is actually a more powerful force than humans. Until we do, we are bound to spend far more energy decrying those who are meant to fix things for us rather than doing anything about it ourselves.

When two worlds collide

We mostly operate in our little worlds with our comfort zones and our safe little spaces where we meet similar people and talk in our own work-based language of acronyms.

Today, I was at a Child Protection Conference at a hotel in Glasgow where we had an exhibition stand. It was the usual people, talking about the usual things with the gentle buzz of conversation audible as delegates enjoyed a coffee break.

Then, out of two separate lifts, a large group of men in red tracksuits appeared, speaking a foreign language, and walking straight through our gathering to the other side of the hotel.

This caused a noticeable ripple of confusion amongst the child protection delegates and a similar level of consternation for the tracksuited invaders.

As it turned out, the hotel was also playing host to the footballers from Hapoel Tel Aviv who play Celtic tomorrow at Parkhead and they wereon their way to a pre-match meeting.

I have to be honest. I would rather have been at their team talk..

Power of words

The Hotel Inspector just described the manager of the hotel she is visiting in tonight's TV show as "bewildered".

It made me consider just what a great word "bewildered" is. It's one of those fantastically emotive words that conjures up thoughts of a meandering, confused and indecisive person bobbing around in their own little world.

It also strikes me as one of the most damning insults available. I'm not sure why - I've heard previous subjects of the TV show described as failures, inept, dumb and many other such put-downs. Somehow, bewildered suggests a uselessness beyond repair and is so much more cutting than an indictment of their business skills.

So, with all of that in mind, why would you make it the name of your boat?
http://www.bewildered.com/welcome.html

surveillance society

A knock at the door today heralded a chap offering to sell me a picture of my own house! He claimed his father had been doing aerial survey work nearby and had done some freelance shots on the trip.

Now his son had framed these pictures and was driving around, locating the houses and selling the photos off. I declined his rather pricey offers and in the end he took the photo out of its frame and gave me it for a few quid. I'm guessing a picture of my house has no residual value beyond my own doorstep.

This is no google earth photo either (my first suspicion). You can see the carpet in the house next door.

Hats off to his entrepreneurial skills but slightly creepy nonetheless.

Good advice is hard to find

Let me be clear from the outset that I think Citizens Advice Bureaux are great services provided by very committed people.

However I do feel concerned for the issues they have to face when you read their frequently asked questions.

Not only do they have to respond to people asking: "can CAB help me with my faulty waterworks", they also have to endure poor depressed souls asking them "When my girlfriend dumps me can CAB help?".

Apparently, they are also frequently asked "can the CAB lend me money?" Perhaps it is just that local bureau and Haddington has a lot of skint, lonely people with burst pipes?

As others see us

Yesterday morning, the BBC Scotland morning news was most informative on the deficiencies of our little country.

Firstly, we discovered that returning soldiers were more likely to be unemployed in Scotland. Then we were usefully informed that it was more likely that those in mortgage arrears in Scotland would lose their houses than those in a similar position in England. Finally I was berated for living in the country with the dirtiest beaches in Britain.

I have a couple of issues with this approach to news. In particular, it doesn’t actually tell me anything. I’m no expert on statistics but wherever you compare two items, one is going to come out ‘worse’. The rest of Britain may have remarkably clean beaches and Scottish beaches simply have a couple of crisp packets blowing by. Or they may be knee deep in raw sewage. I’m none the wiser.

On a wider point though, why does Scotland obsess over its comparative position with other countries? Look through Parliamentary debates and you will see a common theme of ‘why don’t we do ……. like they do in England/Netherlands/Denmark (delete as applicable). There is a corresponding dialogue in our newspapers too.

Perhaps this isn’t unique to Scotland? But I just can’t see the French lamenting anything that they might need to do differently or the Germans debating how on earth the Danes do everything so well.

With a reasonable hat on, I understand you need to provide points of reference for your audience and an understanding of how we compare to others can be useful. For me, the telling point is that pretty much a whole news bulletin amounted to a bad report card without really mapping any ideas on how to improve things. Burns may have introduced the idea of seeing ourselves as others see us but I think it has become an unhelpful obsession.

Applying yourself

I spent an evening this week looking through applications for a vacancy in my team at work. Two things struck me. Firstly, that there was a depressing number of people who listed 'redundancy' as the reason for leaving their most recent job. The other thing that I quickly became aware of is that there are a few basic rules to follow when you hope to get yourself an interview.

These are:

- Try to spell the name of your current employer correctly. This helps to create the impression that you have actually been paying attention to the people paying your wages for the last few years.

- It is also beneficial to check the spelling of your prospective employer as well. I know it can be tricky to remember how to spell 'children' but a dictionary should be consulted if you are unsure.

- It is a good tactic to write more than two short paragraphs when answering the question: "please explain how your experience gives you the skills necessary to undertake the post as described in the job description".

- Check your application for basic errors. Telling me you started with your current employer in 2010 leaves me confused. I wasn't expecting Doctor Who to apply for this post.

- Finally, if you have a really embarrassing e-mail address, consider setting up a more neutrally titled yahoo account before completing the form. A few pointers might be avoiding addresses with the words 'sexy', 'big' or any ridiculous nickname you may have found yourself adopting.

And of course, stapling a few twenty pound notes to the covering letter is never a bad idea.